Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
We need to feng shui this bitch.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
