Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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