hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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