dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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