5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
