I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
