It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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