if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
