Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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