ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
