Kiss
Puke
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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