It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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