I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
