Your face is a jimmy john
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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