Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
