i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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