Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
