Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
