it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
