Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
