evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
