I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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