Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
