Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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