i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
