your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
