for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize