Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
