she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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