You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
