I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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