yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
