I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
