Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
