I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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