You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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