I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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