Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
