i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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