So drunk, too bad you don't want this
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
