apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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