Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
pop tarts are not kleenex
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
