We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
