I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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