Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
