How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
