Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
