My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
