did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
