Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
