Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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