you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
