you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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