i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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