is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
