The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
