weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
